some days, we're just doing it for the shoes

So I think there are maybe three of us that are going to do this challenge.  There might be more of you lurking out there. That's cool. Fill your boots.  Not going to lie, I was going to do it anyway even if no one did it with me.  I do what I want.

Let's talk about goals, and what is realistic.  Be realistic.  You aren't going to lose 30lbs in 7 weeks. If you do, we need to have a different chat, sweetie, because that's not good.  Personally, I'm going to try and get rid of my "last" 17.2lbs.  I think it's a little less, but whatever.  Close enough.  The best way to tackle whatever you goal is is to chunk it down into smaller pieces that are more manageable.  I've wanted to lose 17lbs for a while. Clearly wishing it would happen has not brought the Weight Loss Fairy around (she's a feisty one).  So I'm going to take the Jillian Michaels approach and make a goal pyramid.  Fine, I'll make it look pretty too. 

Anyways, that took way longer than I anticipated.  Yours does not have to be pretty. It just has to be meaningful to you.  If you want help, let me know!

And while we're talking about goals, let's talk about what happens when you achieve them.  Sure, you get the satisfaction of knowing you worked hard for something and you accomplished what you set out to do.  That can be fantastic.  But so can shoes.  

I would highly encourage you to think about how you are going to reward yourself for climbing this mountain for the next seven weeks.  It could be clothes (a fancypants new outfit? Possibly including fancy pants?), shoes, books, going to a movie, whatever is going to excite you.  Is there a giant teacup at Urban Barn that you can't live without?  Is there a pair of Toms that keeps coming to you in dreams and calling your name?  If I'm in the middle of breaking a big plateau, sometimes my rewards are extremely outlandish for the size of the goal.  One week, I said I'd buy a pair of black ballet flats if I lost anything.  And I did, so I did.  

A few weeks ago I posted about what keeps you going when the thrill of working out just isn't cutting it.  I'm not going to lie - sometimes, I was just doing it for the shoes.  If you need short term satisfaction, consider little things like nail polish, books, the last issue of Oxygen (tear).  You know you best.  Figure out what little things you can do for yourself and help you look forward to the scale (or whatever measurement of success you're using) instead of dreading it.

This is going in bold because it's very important.  Do not, please, for the love of coffee (YOU KNOW I'M SERIOUS HERE), use food as a reward for yourself.

I remember during one of my (several) tries with WW when I would look forward to weigh-in days because then I could go get fast food for dinner and eat all the ice cream I wanted afterwards. I'd worked hard all week, I earned it.  This is such a bad habit, and I've broken it (luckily).  You should not be rewarding yourself for making good habits by slipping back into the "old ways." What's the message here?  You haven't really changed if you're still bingeing on the crap that got you where you are. If I want a white chocolate mocha with raspberry from Starbucks, I make sure I've allotted 350 calories (I know!) for it and I enjoy it.  But it's because I want it, not because "I've earned it from all this working out I've been doing."  If you're going to go out for dinner, go out for dinner, decide what you want to eat and if you really want the pasta (you can make better at home, just sayin'), and enjoy yourself.  

Imagine this: You've worked out four times this week, you ate fantastically, and your pants are a little looser.  You stepped on the scale and you lost 2lbs.  You are feeling awesome.  Now you go downstairs to your freezer, get out the pint of ice cream that you've been saving for a special time when you deserve a treat, and you polish it off.  That could easily be 1000 calories, probably more.  And it's loaded with sugar and processed crap.  How do you feel now?  Better yet, was it worth it?  For me, never was.  I've moved on to better things.

Are you curious what my 7-week, "happy birthday to me," "I've finally hit my effing goal!" present to myself will be?  

 

I'm thinkin' these bad boys.  With Missy Peregrym's abs, I'll be unstoppable.  Or just really, really, ridiculously good-looking.

So if you're doing the challenge with me, awesome.  Let's do it.  If you're not, it's all good.  Sometimes we're just not ready for this shit.  If you want to send me goals, or bounce thoughts off me, or whatever, you know the drill.

Also, it starts tomorrow. 

xo

defeated by wednesday

Do you ever just start the week off on the wrong foot, and feel like there's no way you're going to turn it around? As I laid in bed last night, I thought of how fantastically disappointing my clothes shopping experience at Target was and how aware of my midsection I am right now.  Compounded with feeling like I had done so good last week and having a major disappointment on the scale, and the weather matching my mood, and I'm in a funk.  

Plus these things have been mocking me from my dressing room.
Bastards.

Husband and I were chatting last night about groceries (so romantic) and he noted that I eat pretty effing healthy and don't drink booze. I told him I'd rather eat fruit than granola bars. I almost said chocolate, but I think we all know I'd choose chocolate over granola bars. (Who wouldn't? Let's not discuss fruit vs. chocolate because it will end with me staring down a "chocolate fondue for four" in some serious trouble.)  Yes, I do all this good shit for myself. I go to boot camp, I started doing yoga, I eat fruit and egg whites like they hurt my mother and kicked my puppy, and yet here I am.  Stagnating. 

I've heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.  (Shut up, Einstein.)  But shouldn't that be the key to losing weight and getting healthy? Pick a habit, keep doing it, see results, buy bikini.  This seems like a no-brainer.  I eat healthy, I work out. I would buy a bikini but no one wants to see that shit (YET).  Wow, way to follow my own advice about self-deprication.  Next I'll be telling myself I should "practice positive self-talk!" Blegh.

Okay, this is losing focus.  Back to the deal - what happens when you feel like you're doing everything right and you're not getting what you want?

Change it the fuck up.

I have 49 days left until my birthday. Seven weeks.  I thought to myself "Self, it seems highly unlikely you can lose 15-ish lbs in that much time." And then I remembered I'd done it before.  Well there goes that excuse.  And as I re-read that post, I realize that I can do that again.  I'm going to do that again.  Let's start a 7-week challenge together.

Who's with me?  If you aren't - why not?

The way I see it, when I'm in a funk, there are two paths - continue to wallow and whine about it, or do something about it.  I'm more of a do-er.  Here's what I'm suggesting:

• Everyone chooses a goal they'd like to obtain over the next 7 weeks. It can be pound-age, it can be a habit, it can be inches, whatever.  
• Pick your goal, send it to me. I've heard rumblings there are lurkers out there that are contemplating contacting me - I want you to! I won't yell at you, I promise. If you want to send me your goal, I can help you set up a goal pyramid. 
• We'll talk about rewards - maybe I'll kick in a little something-something for the "winner." Could we do a poll? I'm still fleshing this out.  (Flesh is such a weird word.)

 I'm going to test out a poll thing.  Vote and let me know it works (or if it doesn't, so I can go shake my fist at someone).

 (Update: Poll is on the side. I tried to embed one and it made all the colors go super-fugly.)

Or better.

 

self-deprecation doesn't look good on anyone, sweets

I have an exceptionally hard time accepting compliments.  If you know me, you probably know this from the way I give weird looks or say "I do what I can..." before looking away awkwardly whenever someone sends a warm fuzzy my way.

I used to be worse.  I used to say "No..." or laugh it off like whoever was complimenting me was crazy.  Or say "Ugh, no way. I'm huge/my hair is awful/I hate these clothes." This is part of that overweight mentality.  I felt that my weight was a shameful thing, and it overtook any accomplishments or other parts of my body that were worth admiring.  No one could possibly be praising me for my abilities or my hair - I was fat.  That was the end of the story.

It's not a light switch.  I see all these articles about "the power of positive self-talk!" and "loving yourself first!" Okay, whatever.  Tell the person who feels like shit about their weight from every media source out there, then say "Don't feel bad, fat girl.  You can be pretty too! You just have to believe in yourself!" Ugh.  Does anyone ever believe that?  You can't just say "Okay, I feel good about myself now. Thanks for the platitudes!" and be on your merry way.  Unless you're taking some sort of drug, in which case, you need to sharesies right meow.  

I don't know when I started "accepting" compliments.  But here's what I know - people don't blow smoke up your ass for no reason.  My mom says that I'm the kind of person that if I don't like you, you'll know it. (Awesome.  So if I'm bitchy to you and you don't know why, try placating me with chocolate.)  I'm also the kind of person that isn't going to needlessly compliment you to puff up your ego.  I'm sure those people exist, and you know who they are.  They say things like "Isn't your shirt...interesting!" or "The color of your cuticles is DIVINE."  But I like to let people know when I notice something positive. And I also know I feel like shit when they say "Oh, no. That couldn't possibly be!" Give me some credit. If I'm taking the time to say something nice to you, it's because I mean it (and you should be damn thankful for the honor!).  When I really started thinking about how I felt when someone brushed off a positive comment from me, I began to notice my reaction to comments from others.  Even if I don't necessarily believe that person in that moment, I have trained myself to say "Thank you." 

It can be a challenge - you think you're having a bad hair day or you are wearing your fat jeans because they feel the best.  Then someone says "Wow, you look really good today!" and your immediate reaction is "Are you messing with me?" Retract the claws, say thank you, and think about it.  Is this person trying to get a favor out of me?  Is this person the kind of person to blow smoke up my ass? Do I care? Really - it doesn't matter.  You get shit on enough in your life, take the compliments as they come.  

We don't see ourselves the way others see us.  Have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror at another person's house and thought "Whoa! Who the hell is that? She looks awesome!"? When you stop framing yourself in the way you always have, you'll be shocked at who you see.  Just because you can't see something positive, it doesn't mean others aren't seeing something.  You don't have to be all gushy and say "I love my thighs! I love my thighs, dammit!" because you can't fool yourself.  If you have doubts, you have doubts.  That's okay.  We're all a little broken. We only see the chips and cracks in ourselves that others usually overlook.  

And I didn't even have to fish for these! I love you guys!

So here is my challenge to you - stop blowing off the good compliments from other people.  Say "thank you" and smile.  No one wants to hear you bash yourself, and no one wants to feel like their compliment doesn't matter.  Be happy.  Everyone has something going for them, even if you can't see what it is yourself.

FYI - your eyes are amazing. Just sayin'.  

 

change is a good thing

Good afternoon, muffins! I've been thinking of you, don't worry. I don't even want to tell you where I am in terms of my goal.  Let's just say there have been some ups and downs (and I'm a lb farther from my goal than when I last blogged).  I went on vacation in the middle of all that.  And the exact opposite of what I expected to happen ended up happening.

Have you ever heard that old saying "A change is as good as a rest"?  You know, the thing people say when they don't know how to make you feel better about shitty things happening to you?  Kind of like "Everything happens for a reason!" and "Why are you in my house? I'm calling the police." Anyways, I was kind of thinking about that saying in a different way.  I had been motoring along hitting the end of the school year, but things were just not moving like I wanted them to.  Before I left on vacation, I stepped on the scale and I was actually up 3lbs.  I said "Fuck you, scale" and went on vacation.  

 

Have you ever been to the Okanagan? There is a little blip on the side of the road called Winfield. (Okay, it's called Lake Country, but I refuse to call it that. It's Winfield to me.)  And in Winfield is a bakery that has been there for a long time.  My mom remembers it as a kid.  That's old. (Love you, Maj!)  They make these donut pretzel things that my husband lovingly dubbed prez-nuts.  (Shouldn't it be pretz-nuts? Just sayin'.)  They are ridiculously delicious and way too many of them made their way into my mouth this past week.  I was sure that I'd be up another 20lbs when I got home because my body was spiting me for missing a week of boot camp AND eating pretz-nuts.  But what is this? A loss? Of two lbs?! Sweet baby jebus on a stick, what a pleasant surprise!

 

The Okanagan. Home of Pretz-Nuts and rattlesnakes. 

 

I don't really want to know what happened there, but I'll take it and run with it.  In my head, I'm thinking that I just needed a bit of a shake-up from the regular routine.  Your body gets used to shit, you have to surprise it every once in a while.  In keeping with that, I'm guinea-pigging an unlimited yoga pass that I will tell you more about later.  I'm also becoming increasingly enamored with CrossFit.  Stay tuned, muffins.

 

So moral of the story - are you in a slump? Feel like you're doing everything right and don't have the results you want?  It's time to shake shit up.  Not literally. Well, okay maybe literally if you want to try Zumba.  Fill your boots.  But in the figurative sense, pick something you've been wanting to try and go do it.  Now. Why not?