Sunday, April 21, 2013

coconut water (or "the devil's saliva," as I like to call it)

I'll try anything once.  Let me just put that out there right now. 

I ran across coconut water in the grocery store, on sale by a generous $0.30 per 1L tetra-pack.  I'd heard of it before, vaguely, somewhere reputable.  I bought it to try and forgot about it in the back of my fridge.

I was just finishing up reading Jillian Michaels' Slim for Life and she mentioned coconut water as a good source of potassium and way to help combat bloating from too much sodium and "lady-time" (as I like to call it).  Since I have "after" photos being taken in a week for my 6-week body challenge from boot camp, I thought "Why not try this? See if you look less bloat-y?" 

Sweet mother of all things decent, no.

Imagine a liquid that is the consistency of egg whites.  Also the color of egg whites, clear-ish but yellow-ish.  Now imagine it has the sickeningly sweet taste of coconuts.  Now drink it.

I think I'm going to chase it with a shot of bleach.  I don't care if it makes me lose 20lbs this week - not worth it.

If you really like coconut, fill your boots.  I have 0.75L with your name on it if you have a death wish.

Maybe it's better scrambled.  Or going down a drain.


  1. I have had good coconut water and I've had really disgusting coconut water. The good stuff - in my opinion - comes in a glass bottle and costs way too much. And it must be sold.

    Have you tried Bliss - Naked Coconut "ice cream"? It is my little treat with blueberries and mango.