Thursday, September 5, 2013

doin' it "the old fashioned way"

I recently saw a story on the morning news about a guy that lost weight "the old fashioned way."  Old fashioned being "exercising more and eating less crap."  Seriously? This is news now?

Maybe it's not the fact that he managed to lose weight while burning more calories than he ate ("Man Does Not Defy Science! More at 11!") but the fact that he didn't have to resort to a fancy fad or trendy cleanse in order to shed some poundage.  I find it kind of sad that this is what makes the news.

How many commercials have you seen that have "results not typical" at the bottom of the screen? How the hell are so many people being conned into these cash grabs if they are more likely to fail than succeed?  And further, why are seeing big weight losses not considered a "typical" result of these programs? Isn't that what they're trying to sell you?  (I know there's legal shit surrounding why they have to put this, but still.)  You are better than that.  You can do way better.

Here are some of my opinions that I'm going to state in a bulleted form so they look more factual:
  • Be wary of fads and cleanses that involve effing with your hormones or with super low calorie allowances - if it sounds fucked up, it probably is.
  • Cleanses and diet programs might seem easy, and they might actually give you some short term results, but examine how sustainable it is.  If you have to survive off a drink made from cinnamon and sriracha in order to keep the weight off, how realistic is it? (Also, don't try that. I just made it up. It's that easy to make this shit up.)
  • Any little (or big) changes you make in terms of food and exercise will likely cause some sort of change in your weight. If you suddenly switch to black coffee from your venti coffee-flavored-sugar-milk, chances are you're going to see some positive change on the scale (cutting calories = cutting pounds. It's math. Or something.)
I'm sorry, PSL. I didn't mean it. 
If you've been eyeing up a cleanse to try or a diet but you're having trouble committing to it, take some time to think about why that might be.  I don't think you consider a diet without wanting to lose weight, so this isn't really a desire issue.  Maybe you're just not ready to commit to a month of 500 calories a day and shots of horse urine in between your toes. (Also made that up. Maybe.)  Maybe you're not ready to give up your beloved flavored coffee creamers or ranchy ranch salad dressing. Maybe you're not ready for what losing weight will actually mean to you. If the thought of having to eat carrots and celery for every meal is putting you off, it's probably for a reason.  If you are having an emotional attachment to a food and you don't want to stop eating it, that's also probably for a reason.  Ultimately, you have to be okay with the changes you're making or they won't stick.  Period.

Okay, it's cheerleader pep talk time.  You can make little changes to make big differences.  You can do this as a process instead of cold turkey.  I don't know how many times I've said "Okay, I'm going back to coffee on weekends only, week. Maybe."  (I can stop anytime. Shut up.) Pick something you can commit to and do it.  Right now. Pick something.  

This will be hard, in the beginning.  Change isn't easy. But please don't think that doing a quick cleanse or joining a fad program is going to be any easier than making some legit changes in your routine.  I won't say the old "If I can do it, so can you!" but honestly, if you had met me in my prime of unhealthy living, you would never have believed I was capable of what I'm doing now. I know I wouldn't have.  Some days I still have trouble recognizing the girl in the mirror.  Who is that? Why is she wearing such small clothes and flexing her rippling biceps? (Well this got awkward. Sorry.)

You know the drill - I'm here for you. 

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