We're all guilty of it. You've pinned that picture on Pinterest, you see that "skinny bitch" in the mall or on the sidewalk, you follow "How to Get the Thigh Gap" on Facebook. You say "I want to look like her." And you tell your body it's not good enough. Maybe you even say you hate it. "Fuck you, body. Why can't you have less of a muffin top?"
It starts innocently. You tell yourself it's "motivation" - that picture of a hippo on the fridge reminds you that you don't want to be the size of one. A bikini on display will make you think twice about that cookie, right?
You need to stop.
This isn't one of those posts that spouts off platitudes. "You would be mad if someone said all these mean things to you, or told you you had to look a certain way! Why do you do it to yourself?" You should know by now, I'm a tell-it-like-it-is kind of girl. I get it. We're all human, we all want what's over there. Greener grass. Blah blah blah. I'm even guilty of coveting Missy Peregrym's abs. Guess what? Still don't have those abs. Don't really want to feel like crap because of it. Should I?
If I have learned anything during the last four years, it's that your barometer of success has to start and end with you. It is not fair to stack yourself against someone else and then tell yourself you're a failure when you don't measure up. You want some real words to live by?
You are enough.
Plain and simple. I'll even make you a blurry landscape picture to set as your wallpaper.
This is really the crux of our problem. We're always being told "You need this product in order to be beautiful" and "the only way you'll be happy is if you look this way. Look how happy these actors are!" You're never good enough to them. They want you to buy their shit, remember? If you were enough, you wouldn't need it.
You don't need it.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and been completely satisfied? Not "It'll do" or "I wish I could get rid of _____" or "Where did THAT come from?". I haven't. Even now, in the midst of just be I look in the mirror and criticize myself. I've spent too long focusing on trying to change, I'm wired for the struggle. What does "accepting your body" really mean anyway?
For me, I think it means acknowledging that I have come a hell of a long way, and allowing myself to celebrate that. It means feeling satisfied with my body and it's shape. It means telling myself I'm enough.
P.S. Pining over a picture of a jacked up lady is just as bad as obsessing over a bikini photo. Don't try and justify the muscles as "healthy inspiration." Be your own damn inspiration.
P.P.S. I'm feeling extra-generous today. You get three choices for your wallpaper. Choose wisely.
|Pick the pigeon. You know you want to.|